Rikku's torment
by Lupinrager
Summary: Rikku was alsways the perky one, however, a troubled ocean was brewing within her


Welcome to one of the only surviving fan fictions of mine to ever hit the web.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X-2. I wish I did. But if I did, I wouldn't be writing fan fiction!  
  
It has been a year ever since Tidus left the group, Disappeared in a burst of Pyreflies. It was hard trying to erase those memories. But I get by his passing. I try to hide it behind a fake plastered on smile and childish attitude. I don't want any one to know how I felt towards him. Especially Yunie, she was my closest cousin, probably my last surviving one. Yunie loved Tidus as much as I did, but she had no problem telling him how she felt. It's harder for me because she just looks at me like a younger sister, as I sometimes look at him as an older brother.  
Yunie, she' been distraught and a wreck since he left. She never leaves the hut that she lived in, never smiled for a long time. Who could blame her; she lost the only man she ever loved, and the only man who loved her back. I've been jealous of Yunie; she was the only one who caught his eye. I try to show I love her during the day and trying to get her to smile, yet when night falls, and I'm safe in my room, in my bed, under my sheets, I just let my tears flow. I hated Yunie sometimes, I never let her know, and she could get in a deeper rut. But I still love my cousin, even though he came and went.  
I loved the blond angel ever since I met him in the ruins. His blue eyes just seemed to hypnotize me, so what a love sick girl to do but fight. I felt sorry for the confused boy, not knowing anything but Spira, but who could blame him, he was a dream. When we got separated from each other, my heart pained to have him back with me, but almost like it was meant to be, I met him once again and with Yunie too.  
As we journeyed together, I grew more attached to him, yet it seemed he grew farther away from me. I wanted him, I wanted the sweet embrace of his arms, I wanted Tidus to say 'I love you' to me. I wanted the attention that I craved from him. Yet it was taken away from me, Ever since Macalania. I saw what they were doing, I couldn't believe it that I just ran away and had a good cry. His voice in my head still brings those past hurts.  
Even though the light of my life is gone, I can still hear his voice, confused and curious as when I first met him. The smell of his hair lingered in my nostrils and I felt a warm embrace every time I think about him. As I lay myself to sleep, I still see his face, smiling so happily in my head. Yet every time I woke up, I would've preferred another round with sin, as tears once again stain my bed.  
To get my mind preoccupied, I tried new hobbies, new weapons and new clothes. I tried sphere hunting to get my mind of things, yet the feeling of calmness never lingered long. A new member of our crew, Paine, is a fortress of rock. Never smiling, never laughing, as if she wanted to block those happy feelings. I wish I could be like her, no emotions to plague me, no guilt from those happy dreams, no sadness of reality, and no love to ache me. A droid, a Machina that we use, or better yet, a lifeless fiend, I could just end my life know with a single stroke of my blade. End my life, end my tears, end my sadness, and drift off to the far plane like my fallen brethren.  
As I lift the shimmering blade, soon to be caked with al bhed blood, Tears stream down my face as I slowly prepare to cut my own throat. My voice trembled as I counted down to my death. As the blade touches the flesh of my neck, a strange sound came from behind me, it was a familiar sound. A sharp blast of a whistle in my ear, the one Tidus did all the time to impress Yuna. I hold the blade stock still as I dream of the people I would be leaving soon. Yuna, Yunie was already devastated at the loss of a lover, now the loss of a cousin. I gulp and I move the blade again across my open neck, cries from behind me drowned out the fake whistle in my head. A hand slaps the hand sword from my sweaty palm. "Rikku, what were you doing!? I look up at the tear strained face of Yuna and the stoic face of Paine. "What was just about to happen with your blade?"  
I do nothing but stutter, than I break down. "Yunie I'm so sorry!" I sob as Yunie holds me close. "Rikku, I now things have been tough but hold on, we're here for you." "Don't end your life yet Rikku, there is so much more to see." Paine's words still linger in my head. "If you lost something valuable, you still have a chance. With me, that chance was taken and wrecked." As I look up, I could see a single glistening tear fall down Paine's cheek. "What's bothering you Rikku, please tell us." I couldn't tell Yunie how I felt, my feelings towards her and Tidus, so I shoved her away from me. I felt rotten afterwards, I could still see that hurt expression every time Yunie looks at me.(A/N: Before Yuna went hunting) Lying under a bush, I just cried my eyes out for hours, not wanting anyone to find me. I just remind my self of Tidus and cry some more, those happy memories of the team, this was the last night I was staying before leaving again, yet I wanted to leave as soon as possible. I try to remind myself that there are people who cared for me, yet that didn't help. I just cry for a bit more and finally lull off to sleep with a tear stained face. Under the same stars that watched over us a year ago.  
  
I hope you like that. If you like, say in the reviews that you want more Feelings; I may do the rest of the guardian cast.  
  
Please review nicely. This is the first surviving piece of work and I hate rejection, so no fames. 


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